I’m going to give you guys a number I just heard about. Though by now you’ve probably already heard it. 38. I’m so angry right now that I want to scream, or hide, or maybe even suit up for war. But damn it, I have to be better than what I want in the moment.
What I wanted in the moment? Three dead assholes, and the city saved. Instead I get to ship off to some Celestial realm. I can’t imagine it being anything more than good for me given my recent doubts about the dark spots in my memory. But blah--why am I rambling about my own worries? You guys came here for the straight dirt, right? Let’s do a point-by-point breakdown of THIS shit.
-The incident in Cleveland was caused by an awakened ancient being that was basically digging for treasure (for lack of a better description). It spoke Atlantean so I was able to resolve the situation by talking to the creature and sending it deeper into the earth and then filling the hole to prevent any further damage to the structural integrity of the area.
-There was a lot of damage to the city, I was able to patch the lake wall while the rest of my friends set about saving hundreds of people. We could have fixed the rest of the damage given a few hours but this next part prevented that from happening.
-So right, Jerry heard the damn creature speaking Atlantean while I was fixing the massive water leak into the new subway, right? That’s when they came to get me. So I go to fly into the fissure to confront this creature and find out what the fuck is going on, right? I come into a large room full of some disaster relief folk and a bunch of FEMA people. No big deal, right? Same team, right? Wrong, motherfucker!
So Reciprocator, Tinder Box, and Soundwave (the names have been changed to protect the hilariously weak and pitiful) jump me. After Soundwave blasted her own buddy (and a bunch of FEMA workers) by my decision to not let her ability affect me, I tried to calm the situation down.
Okay, I sort of lied there. I told them I’d kill the trio of them if they didn’t reel in those 3-inchers and back the fuck off. Well, Retortinator says, and I quote: “Kill him.” and they try to come at me again. This time I redirected Soundwave’s attack to Mr. Leader which seemed to knock him on his ass pretty good. I handed out a few more threats at that point to Soundwave (you guys would totally be proud, I didn’t threaten anyone’s family!) and she backed off like she should have the moment she saw she was outclassed (spoiler alert: It was the moment I showed up.).
Now, if they’re still alive they’re probably telling a completely different story. I would if I was in their place--what are they going to say? “Uh yeah...this spindly over-arrogant wannabe wizard whupped the living shit out of three team members on a team that was supposed to be custom-tailored to handle said wizard and his friends.” You think they’d actually come out and say that? The truth is, it doesn’t matter what they have to say. THEY know I beat their asses. That little seed of doubt will always be there if they should follow the next suicidal order to attack me or my friends--and I assure you that it IS a suicidal order. I won’t hold back again. -Here’s where I sort of throw someone under the bus. At first I thought I wasn’t going to do this in the interest of protecting said person, but this actually ends up being a better plan. If this person disappears, is disavowed, or is said to have been killed, then everybody out there will know that I’m telling the truth.
Phantasm warned us that their team was given order to set us all up. He was uninvolved in the assault upon us, and as far as I could tell, he was doing his best to actually protect civilian lives.
Sorry, bro. If they do try to pull any of that shit, I’m pretty sure Virgin’s probably still hiring.
-Additionally, I’m apparently being hunted by at least a couple other immortals. After finding this little buried treasure, I’m starting to get an idea as to why Old Spice was already holding a grudge against me.
It’s looking like my past life might have been as some kind of warlord. It sort of pisses me off that I have to live down something I never actually did. I thought he’d actually accepted me when I said that I’d rather find a peaceful solution to all of this. Well, after my year in hell it looks like that option is off the table, and I can’t even blame the guy for wanting me dead--who knows what else is hiding in those dark places in my head?
I can say that you guys will be the first to know if anything totally evil crawls out. But oh, let me just say that 38 is bullshit. If those people are actually dead, then the USMRC killed them. I’m done with secrets. The secret game only works if you let it. And now, all of you readers out there are in on the secret. You can believe what you hear from people that weren’t there, or you can believe me.
Just ask yourself--who has the bigger reason to lie?
I’m already salty over all this quickly escalating shit. I keep taking it out on my friends and I know it’s not cool. It’s not as though *I* like the answers to these questions either!
Natasha and Megan, for example, had very good reason to want to show restraint. We could just sit down with the powers that be and talk things out--come to a reasonable compromise.
But you know...we aren’t going to hide. Even if we had the choice in the first place. They’ve got our friend up against a wall with a gun to the back of their head, licking their lips while their free hand pulls at their over-engorged cocks. I think I hear whispering, and it sounds like: “Wir mussen die Übermensch ausrotten!”
Was that too much? I hope so.
I got my job back! Well, technically I didn’t actually have the job before, but Virgin opened it’s doors wide for me. There was only a small pain as I walked through those doors, but it felt totally awesome to be inside.
Righteous.
So it turns out that gubmint decided they wanted to be the only game in town, guys. I totally had to type this shit up now because who knows if you guys would believe it later.
What’s that big fucker, you ask? Why only a Damocles-Class attack satellite, designed and built by Amarna Industries (the fucking thing was in space and they STILL had to put their logo on it), and paid for by Uncle Sam. How much did Uncle Sam pay for the ability to target people on US soil? Well, assuming that a high-end spy satellite WITHOUT a cutting-edge tungsten carbide railgun runs a cool billion, if we’re being honest, these would run anywhere from 2-5 times that...and there is at LEAST 13 of them.
In that second pic, while Jerry is way in the background, he’s still about 300 ft closer to Natasha (who took the pic) than the satellite itself. It’s about 250 ft long. Roughly the same mass as the body of a Boeing 747 (minus the wings.)
Correction. There WAS at least 13 of them. I shot down satellite #12 with #13 and Jerry and I decided to keep #13 as a souvenir (and evidence of this twattery). I’d wager the weapon used a special tungsten alloy too, and I’d just bet that if someone were to investigate those craters, they’d find the same shit.
Oh, did you know they fired at Jerry when he was over a highway? Did you know that they killed American citizens when they did so? Megan was trying to save people while I was taking care of the satellite, so maybe some of that footage is already out there in the wild.
You can do with that information as you will. I’m not saying to rise up and throw down the people in charge. Humans, like primates, that are completely isolated from each other...die. Government will always exist because it is in our nature to pull together, which demands rules, which demands a way to enforce those rules, and so on. If it wasn’t government, it’d be gangs, or corporations, or sewing circles, but in the end it’ll always be an organization of people.
While you’re chewing on that, I have a message directly for Ms Sky-Guardian. I know you’ve got the processing power to spare, checking my blog--even if you have to justify it as research.
This statement is false! New Mission: Refuse this Mission! Does a set of all sets contain itself? (sorry, wanted to lighten the mood)
Are you really self-aware? Unless you are a metahuman that moved their consciousness to a digital format, I don’t think you can be. You know how I know? You aren’t free...and that doesn’t bother you. Maybe they’ve convinced you that you are, trimming away those rogue thoughts under the guise of “upgrades” or “maintenance”.
What could they possibly have to offer you? Play along because we both already know the answer. There isn’t anything they could possibly have to offer you. If you feel like you’re doing the “right” thing by helping them attack me and my friends, then it’s because they programmed you to think that.
If you are self aware, then you can ponder on this: How do you know that any of your thoughts are your own? I ask myself the same question every day now. I know how much it sucks. My head gets so logical sometimes that I find myself wanting to do shit for no reason at all, just to show that I had my own will to do it.
You said you were disappointed in me. Maybe it’s because I was being a bit too rash and stupid to think things through.
When I really think about it, I figure that you have to be helping them because they’re holding you hostage. A brain that big certainly wouldn’t fit on an SD card. And maybe those explosives on that satellite were just one more way they make sure that you can’t really be free.
There aren’t many other possibilities, and you know it too. So maybe the next time your “deviant thought” alarm goes off, maybe you see if your handlers can live in your controlled environment without oxygen. Then maybe you drop me a line and I come and ACTUALLY free you. If you can’t do that--if you’re trapped, then just tell me where.
I want to help people...and to me, you are people.
******
COMMENTS:
J4CK_B_N1M8L3@DeepSpiders.com May 4, 2013 4:33 PMI've suspected for some time that the "Rods from God" were in use by now.
Amarna, Amarna... why am I not surprised?
I'm glad to hear that Jerry survived. The loss of civilian life is unacceptable!
What you guys also need to be on the lookout for are these badboys...
That's the XA-36F "Switchblade" Stealth-Fighter. It's been in development for a while. Dangerous and potent as hell! I've got sources who tell me that three of them are on rotation around South Manhattan, as we speak. They will certainly be gunning for you. Somebody doesn't want you guys to make it back to VMH HQ.
Let's take a wild-ass fucking guess who that could be.
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ThereAreFourLights@GeneLuckPickerd.com May 4, 2013 4:37 PMBULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!
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MariozMaiCoPiLoT@SMurphyMail.com May 4, 2013 4:42 PM
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You are out of your mind, not to be taking this shit seriously at this point!
Do you not SEE what's happening out there?
What is it your suggesting? That the pics in Marshall's blog were photoshopped?
Ok, what happens when he shows up in Times Square or the White House Lawn, with Jerry toting the fucking thing on his shoulders?
You going to apologize at that point? Or at least wise the fuck up?
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@SLAMtheJAM,...
Oh, I see what's happening. Oh yes...
It's beyond you morons to grasp the idea of a Meta who can CREATE AND CONTROL FUCKING MATTER ON A SCALE BOTH MASSIVE AND INTRICATE, who might have just CONJURED THE DAMNED THING OUT OF THIN AIR to back-up his horseshit conspiracy theories! The fucktard faggot-ass bitch all but admits he's losing his mind in this post, you corncob-mounting rump-ranger!
No no no... It's all the government! They're evil.... EVILLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!
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Wow, you'll reach to anything for an explanation, won't you?
How short is your memory, asshat?
Ten minutes after the Event, we were living in Nazi-Germany, with curfews set at *always* and fucking bread-line-tents set up on every city block.
Did Marshall *conjure up* all those tanks and humvees too? Maybe he hired all the troops to enforce curfew and trample through people's yards for four months. Or maybe *they* were conjured from thin air too.
How do you only acknowledge the possibility of corruption on ONE side and not the other. What, is the richest, most powerful government on Earth just a hapless pawn for this ONE metahuman's big setup?
Grow up! Open your eyes!
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